¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¾Æ
2021-05-14 382

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Why is it important to train our dogs at an early age?

A)
As educating child of human, it is important to train dogs at an early age because it is easier to make them a habit. It is difficult to change when bad behavior has become a habit already. Thus in korea there is a old saying, "The habit of three years old lasts to eighty."

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Laura!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Q) Why is it important to train our dogs at an early age?

A)
As educating child of human, it is important to train dogs at an early age because it is easier to make them a habit. 
>> Like educating a child, it is important to train dogs at an early age because it is easier for them to make a habit. 

It is difficult to change when bad behavior has become a habit already. 
>> CORRECT!

Thus in korea there is a old saying, "The habit of three years old lasts to eighty."
>> Thus in Korea there is an old saying, "The habit of three years old lasts to eighty."

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108526 Draft Report2, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 877
108525 Draft Report2, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 529
108524 Work report1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 515
108523 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 372
108522 Writing task ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 382
108521 School Performance Assessment 4-2 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 4
108520 School Performance Assessment 4-1 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 5
108519 Who\'s music encourages you most? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108518 What is your favorite month and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 458
108517 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 335
108516 Homework 5.14 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 902
108515 What is your favorite month and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108514 Will you allow your friends to visit your place? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1020
108513 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 415
108512 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108511 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 382
108510 Why I applied to Graduate school of Education. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 385
108509 Self introduction in English Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 414
108508 What did you do last weekend? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 400
108507 Home work(5.12) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 804

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04