¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*È£
2021-05-17 846

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. Then teacher can write it on report card. It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Leo!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. 

>> CORRECT!

Then teacher can write it on report card. 

>> Then the teacher can write about it on the report card.

It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. 

>> It can go on until we are all grown up and have an interview to get a job. 

It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. 

>> It can be a minus point if we have bad results in our report card and if we have bad manners, it can turn into a habit. 

It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

>> It is a big problem because it is hard to break a bad habit.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110070 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 624
110069 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 441
110068 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 508
110067 Homework 7.15 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 518
110066 Homework 7.15 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 360
110065 It is observed in many countries that less and less people... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 454
110064 If you have a lot of things to get done in one week, how do you... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 2
110063 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 3
110062 What images spring to mind when you hear the word \'teaching\' ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 490
110061 Feeling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 700
110060 Why should we avoid junk food? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 534
110059 Be ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 8
110058 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0
110057 HOMEWORK/YUN/2021/0714 Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 632
110056 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 583
110055 home work on July 14 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110054 Which do you like better, a home with a nice garden or a home... À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 453
110053 What are three things that motivate you? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1008
110052 Do you want more CCTVs to monitor children in school while you... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 2
110051 Page 23 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 604

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04