¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*È£
2021-05-17 646

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. Then teacher can write it on report card. It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Leo!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. 

>> CORRECT!

Then teacher can write it on report card. 

>> Then the teacher can write about it on the report card.

It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. 

>> It can go on until we are all grown up and have an interview to get a job. 

It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. 

>> It can be a minus point if we have bad results in our report card and if we have bad manners, it can turn into a habit. 

It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

>> It is a big problem because it is hard to break a bad habit.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108965 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 1
108964 What three objects you own do you value the most? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 0
108963 tell me about your favorite game ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 400
108962 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 398
108961 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 486
108960 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 364
108959 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 320
108958 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 1
108957 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 366
108956 How would you describe your English communication skills? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 1
108955 What do you think about taking new challenges? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 573
108954 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 1
108953 Making sentences with given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 0
108952 Making sentences with given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 2
108951 Do you like meeting new people? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 1
108950 In this modern world that we live in, do you think that war is a... ¼Û*Áø ÁøÇàÁß 2021-05-29 0
108949 How do you think the world would be different if there was only... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 417
108948 How can you develop a good habit? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 3
108947 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 5
108946 Koreans from children to the elderly are unhappy À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04