¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase \"domestic violence\"? In some countries, domestic viole

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-05-25 359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children. But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happend. Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime. Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Solyna! ^^
Thank you so much for doing your homework.
Enjoy your weekend! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. 
>> Some news that was recently related to child abuse comes to my mind. 

There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. 
>> There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence, and neglect. 

All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. 
>> All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness of that. 

Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children.
>> Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and child abuse.

But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happened. 
>> But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly the right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't happen. 

Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
>> Therefore, every government should recognize the seriousness of domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish laws about it.

I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime yet.

Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. 
>> Every child has the right to live safely and the first place to feel it is their home.

I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.
>> I hope the world would be a place where every child lives happily without any violence and bad things.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109107 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 2
109106 Homework 6.4 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 299
109105 Will Korea be able to see a president under age 40? À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 1
109104 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 310
109103 Who are the 3 people in your life that you can\'t live without? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 1
109102 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 1
109101 What is your definition of risk? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 298
109100 Why did you agree to practice your English regularly? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 379
109099 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 315
109098 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 381
109097 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 312
109096 What should someone do to be happy? ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 325
109095 HM ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 677
109094 Do you like animals? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 2
109093 Homework (297) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 512
109092 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 318
109091 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 3
109090 Kongjwipatjwi~^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 463
109089 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 2
109088 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 344

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04