¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-06-07 390

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on?

I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer!

Governments in emerging economies have, over the decades, tried many different policy agendas to stimulate development, accelerate growth, alleviate poverty, and achieve any number of other goals to mixed success. Nowadays, the urgent problem is regarding the pandemic. They work really hard on how to improve their country and their people as well. Your ideas are great. Thanks for sharing. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. 
>> I think the Korean government should reduce financial waste on welfare. 

There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. 
>> CORRECT

However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. 
>> However, since the criteria of selecting applicants is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite the fact that they don't need any help. 

So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108518 What is your favorite month and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 612
108517 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 453
108516 Homework 5.14 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1176
108515 What is your favorite month and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108514 Will you allow your friends to visit your place? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1266
108513 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 580
108512 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108511 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 632
108510 Why I applied to Graduate school of Education. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 588
108509 Self introduction in English Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 624
108508 What did you do last weekend? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 615
108507 Home work(5.12) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1008
108506 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108505 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108504 In this modern world that we live in, do you think that war is a... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 560
108503 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108502 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108501 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 613
108500 What`s new with you? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 615
108499 SOP 7 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04