¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-06-07 395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on?

I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer!

Governments in emerging economies have, over the decades, tried many different policy agendas to stimulate development, accelerate growth, alleviate poverty, and achieve any number of other goals to mixed success. Nowadays, the urgent problem is regarding the pandemic. They work really hard on how to improve their country and their people as well. Your ideas are great. Thanks for sharing. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. 
>> I think the Korean government should reduce financial waste on welfare. 

There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. 
>> CORRECT

However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. 
>> However, since the criteria of selecting applicants is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite the fact that they don't need any help. 

So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108490 What can you say about the job of a teacher? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 579
108489 What is your best memory in school and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 773
108488 First impressions matter ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 678
108487 School Performance Assessment 3 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 4
108486 For you, what is the heaviest reason why some couples get a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 6
108485 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 655
108484 Happy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108483 What is your best memory in school and why? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 570
108482 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 751
108481 What is your favorite month and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 2
108480 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 505
108479 A walk in the clouds, 1995 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 669
108478 Like carictor ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 561
108477 I know fortune teller, also know what they do. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 915
108476 Who is your all-time favorite sportsperson? Why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 667
108475 Work1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 584
108474 Tell me about your father\'s hobbies. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 629
108473 Do you think that food defines a culture? If so, how? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 3
108472 What is your best memory in school and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 672
108471 Homework~~~~~~~~~!!!!! ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 602

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04