¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-06-28 507

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What's something you don't like about Facebook?
A:I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.

>> I'm not sure about the things that people do on Facebook, but I think they share their situations on Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.

>> First of all, If I use Facebook and share something bad and regret it after, then I'll delete it but I can't delete it from other users' brains so that won't be good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.

>> Secondly, other Facebook users can say something good to me but they can also say something bad which would make me feel bad and that isn't a good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

>> Also, they can use slang words on Facebook so it can have a bad effect on children so it shouldn't be used by children.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109683 How are festivals celebrated in your hometown? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 1
109682 How can help poor countries? ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 457
109681 How important is beauty in your daily life? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 1
109680 The futher generations ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 4
109679 What do you usually do to celebrate your birthday? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 2
109678 Have you ever been intimidated by someone\'s appearance? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 3
109677 Do you think dreams have meaning? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 2
109676 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 1
109675 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 372
109674 This speech topic is! ! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 473
109673 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 429
109672 Clocks Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 508
109671 Did you enjoy festivals better when you were still younger or do... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 442
109670 What\'s something you don\'t like about Facebook? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 1
109669 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 507
109668 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 346
109667 Why do humans have pets? Do you have a pet? Why or why not? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 386
109666 Did you enjoy festivals better when you were still younger or do... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 0
109665 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 0
109664 Can you describe one of your closest friends? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04