¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like do doing your free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áö
2021-07-09 394

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like listening music at my free time. I like k-pop music. So when I get a free time, I'm lie down my bed and listen to K-pop music. Now, my favorite K-pop music is weeekly- After school. Because, this song is about high school life. So, When I listen this music,, I can feel and remind my happy high school life.
And I like playing with my friends at my free time. My friends are kind and funny. So when I meet my friends, my feeling is very comfortable and happy. Now, on account of COVID virus, we can meet only four friends at the same time. And, next week, we should meet only 2 friends after 6 a clock. If COVID virus done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go trip with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Minji!

Wow! I'm glad to know all these things. I also like listening to the K-pop music. I appreciate your effort in making a composition. GREAT COMPOSITION! Keep it up!

Let's talk more about this next time :)

Thank you and have a wonderful weekend~ ^^

~T. Roanne ^_^

=====================================
Suggestions and Corrections:

1. I like listening music at my free time.
>>  I like listening to music in my free time.

2.I like k-pop music.
>> CORRECT! OR  I like the K-pop music.

3. So when I get a free time, I'm lie down my bed and listen to K-pop music. 
>> So when I get a free time, I lie down on my bed and listen to the K-pop music.

4. Now, my favorite K-pop music is weeekly- After school.
>> CORRECT! OR  Now, my favorite K-pop music is weekly from After school.

5. Because, this song is about high school life. 
>> Because this song is about high school life.

6. So, When I listen this music,, I can feel and remind my happy high school life.
>>  So, When I listen to this music, It can make me feel happy and reminds me of my happy life in high school.

7. And I like playing with my friends at my free time. 
>> And I like playing with my friends in my free time. 

8. My friends are kind and funny. 
>> CORRECT!

9. So when I meet my friends, my feeling is very comfortable and happy. 
>> So when I meet my friends, I feel very comfortable and happy. 

10. Now, on account of COVID virus, we can meet only four friends at the same time. 
>> Now, on account of the COVID virus, we can only meet with four friends at the same time. 

11. And, next week, we should meet only 2 friends after 6 a clock. 
>> Next week, we should only meet with 2 friends after 6 a clock. 

12. If COVID virus done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go trip with my friends.
>> If the COVID virus is done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go on a trip with them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113170 HOMEWORK: What tourist attractions would you like to see in... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113169 36 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 723
113168 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113167 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 422
113166 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113165 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113164 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 3
113163 Who is the most annoying person you know? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113162 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113161 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 385
113160 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 485
113159 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 460
113158 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 457
113157 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 431
113156 Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 488
113155 My hardest problem in my life ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 576
113154 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 472
113153 H/W ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 345
113152 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 416
113151 egg ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 424

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04