¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like do doing your free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áö
2021-07-09 204

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like listening music at my free time. I like k-pop music. So when I get a free time, I'm lie down my bed and listen to K-pop music. Now, my favorite K-pop music is weeekly- After school. Because, this song is about high school life. So, When I listen this music,, I can feel and remind my happy high school life.
And I like playing with my friends at my free time. My friends are kind and funny. So when I meet my friends, my feeling is very comfortable and happy. Now, on account of COVID virus, we can meet only four friends at the same time. And, next week, we should meet only 2 friends after 6 a clock. If COVID virus done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go trip with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Minji!

Wow! I'm glad to know all these things. I also like listening to the K-pop music. I appreciate your effort in making a composition. GREAT COMPOSITION! Keep it up!

Let's talk more about this next time :)

Thank you and have a wonderful weekend~ ^^

~T. Roanne ^_^

=====================================
Suggestions and Corrections:

1. I like listening music at my free time.
>>  I like listening to music in my free time.

2.I like k-pop music.
>> CORRECT! OR  I like the K-pop music.

3. So when I get a free time, I'm lie down my bed and listen to K-pop music. 
>> So when I get a free time, I lie down on my bed and listen to the K-pop music.

4. Now, my favorite K-pop music is weeekly- After school.
>> CORRECT! OR  Now, my favorite K-pop music is weekly from After school.

5. Because, this song is about high school life. 
>> Because this song is about high school life.

6. So, When I listen this music,, I can feel and remind my happy high school life.
>>  So, When I listen to this music, It can make me feel happy and reminds me of my happy life in high school.

7. And I like playing with my friends at my free time. 
>> And I like playing with my friends in my free time. 

8. My friends are kind and funny. 
>> CORRECT!

9. So when I meet my friends, my feeling is very comfortable and happy. 
>> So when I meet my friends, I feel very comfortable and happy. 

10. Now, on account of COVID virus, we can meet only four friends at the same time. 
>> Now, on account of the COVID virus, we can only meet with four friends at the same time. 

11. And, next week, we should meet only 2 friends after 6 a clock. 
>> Next week, we should only meet with 2 friends after 6 a clock. 

12. If COVID virus done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go trip with my friends.
>> If the COVID virus is done, I will meet many friends at the same time and go on a trip with them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109722 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109721 How do you loosen up? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 260
109720 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 219
109719 Is it necessary to have a bucket list or to do list? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 235
109718 Which day of the year are you most likely to spend with your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 209
109717 What is your dream job and why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 4
109716 Homework (306) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 238
109715 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 2
109714 Ask ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 289
109713 English Riddle!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 228
109712 hate feeling ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 241
109711 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 214
109710 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 343
109709 How do you improve your interpersonal skill? Explain. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109708 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 0
109707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 225
109706 What\'s the most delicious fruit in your opinion? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109705 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 209
109704 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 297
109703 How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 285

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04