¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK/YUN/2021/0714

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*À±
2021-07-15 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! It's great to see you here on the composition site!

First of all, congratulations to the submission of this IELTS essay answer. Your strong points are breaking down the pros and cons of  speaking a common language. Moreover, your arguments have supporting details. For the conclusion, you have to make it solid by wrapping up the points you have made on your discussion.

Let us discuss how you can make a substantial conclusion in class tomorrow. Excellent job for this first written IELTS answer!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
>> In my opinion, the idea of people using the same global language is positive but also has a negative aspect by loosing diversity of culture.

Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 
>> The reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 

When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. 
>> Correct!

It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.
>> It¡¯s very hard to learn another language and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.

Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
>> Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put a lot of effort and it also costs a lot of money to enroll in an institute.

In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. 
>> In the aspect of negative expectation, using the same language around the world can cause the extinction of cultural diversity. 

There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
>> There are some socialists claiming that a language represents the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each language.

From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
>> ...standardized.

Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110713 What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110712 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110711 pgae 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 234
110710 Conversation Questions and Homework À¯*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 5
110709 1. What would you do if the relative university asked you to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 522
110708 Why do you apply for this university? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 260
110707 Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 183
110706 How do you squeeze something up on your busy days? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 231
110705 Japanese mayor under fire for biting Olympian\'s gold medal À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110704 Day 6 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 217
110703 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 0
110702 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 272
110701 Homework: What are the best and worst things about being wealthy? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 192
110700 the answer about the homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 198
110699 Hi Kate! Always thank u❤️ ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 17
110698 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110697 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 242
110696 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 228
110695 Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 249
110694 Favorite tourist attraction ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 242

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04