¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-16 269

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?
A:Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.

>> An advantage of cell phones is we can call our friends or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.

>> We can also say something through texts, we don't need to talk if we send a message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.

>> If we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

>> But if we use cell phones for a long time, it hurts our eyes, so if someone looks at a cell phone for a long time, then he needs to wear glasses.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109363 A musician ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109362 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 313
109361 What would you say is the best thing about getting older? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 0
109360 Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy À¯*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 371
109359 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 334
109358 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 1
109357 Do you think change is good? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 0
109356 Free Talking ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 307
109355 I don\'t like strong scents like hair loss prevention, and the... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 314
109354 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 287
109353 Homework . Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 319
109352 Do you think change is good? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 325
109351 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 349
109350 Some people believe that individuals are becoming more and more... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 321
109349 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 339
109348 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 271
109347 Do you think change is good? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 0
109346 Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 0
109345 tell me about your city ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 263
109344 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04