¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Àº
2021-07-16 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Advantages of cell phones are convenient to communicate with other people and improve qualities of life.
By using cell phones, we can do almost everything with it such as making reservation, watching movies, and taking pictures.
However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they didn't use them.
Because of cell phones, people suffer of eyes and necks problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Christine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phones are convenient to communicate with other people and improve qualities of life.

>> The advantages of cellphones are that it makes it convenient to communicate with other people and it improves the quality of life.
By using cell phones, we can do almost everything with it such as making reservation, watching movies, and taking pictures.

>> By using cell phones, we can do almost everything such as making reservations, watching movies, and taking pictures.
However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they didn't use them.

>> However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they weren't using them.
Because of cell phones, people suffer of eyes and necks problems.

>> Because of cell phones, people suffer from eye and neck problems.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109200 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 384
109199 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 430
109198 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 3
109197 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109196 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109195 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109194 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 2
109193 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the words and use them in a... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109192 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109191 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 418
109190 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109189 What are the advantages of having deadlines? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 2
109188 Driving Laws and Alcohol À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 407
109187 what are you afraid of? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 366
109186 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109185 What advice will you say to a newly hired worker who is... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 369
109184 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 424
109183 My goal ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 311
109182 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 406
109181 Homework (299) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 443

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04