¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-26 460

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
>> If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it on a one day vacation. 

I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
>> I love to watch a lot of movies but I watch most interesting movies that are allowed for my age. 

So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
>>So I want to watch more movies that I haven't watched and I want to find interesting genres for me. 

Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
>> Actually, I have a few movies that I want to watch but most of them are not allowed for my age. 

And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
>> The reason why I want to go on a one day vacation is that there is a lot of time when we are resting. 

And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.
>> And because of that, I can play with my friends. This is why I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110712 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110711 pgae 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 346
110710 Conversation Questions and Homework À¯*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 5
110709 1. What would you do if the relative university asked you to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 615
110708 Why do you apply for this university? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 333
110707 Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 249
110706 How do you squeeze something up on your busy days? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 299
110705 Japanese mayor under fire for biting Olympian\'s gold medal À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110704 Day 6 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 343
110703 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 0
110702 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 404
110701 Homework: What are the best and worst things about being wealthy? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 314
110700 the answer about the homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 260
110699 Hi Kate! Always thank u❤️ ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 17
110698 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110697 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 326
110696 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 351
110695 Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 370
110694 Favorite tourist attraction ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 408
110693 What are your strengths to be able to enter the international... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 353

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04