¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

holiday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-26 447

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday. My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester. So I want to make that day a holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday.
>>If I can make a holiday, I want to make my birthday a holiday. 

My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. 
>>My birthday is on March 21st, the day when new semesters starts in schools. 

So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. 
>> CORRECT

I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester.
>> I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the start of a new semester.

 So I want to make that day a holiday.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110307 Failure is the mother of success. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 393
110306 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 347
110305 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 449
110304 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 365
110303 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 0
110302 to work in other country ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 400
110301 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 369
110300 holiday ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 447
110299 Weightlifting in Tokyo Olympics ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 343
110298 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 321
110297 living on the beach. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 359
110296 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110295 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 252
110294 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110293 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 421
110292 I think offline class is more benefit to me*^^* ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 396
110291 Homework {07/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 366
110290 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 437
110289 My goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110288 What is your favorite celebration? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 276

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04