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HOMEWORK: Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life? Why or why not?

작성자: 박*연
2021-08-29 411

회원님의 영작문



HOMEWORK(Claire)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Claire!

Great job with your composition today. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


We can’t avoid conflicts in our life. I will present some reasons that will support my following opinion.

>>CORRECT!

Social life consists of conflicts and resolutions. Society is organized with various kinds of people and we can’t be the same.

>>CORRECT!

People have different backgrounds, knowledge, conditions, and etc. The best example that shows us the conflicts of people is a debate.

>>People have different backgrounds, knowledge, conditions, and etc. The best example that shows us the conflicts among people is a debate.

Many different people gather and share their opinions about a particular topic. But are the opinions toward the topic is the same?

>>Many different people gather and share their opinions about a particular topic. But are the opinions toward the topic the same?

No, the opinions are be decided based on people's experiences in their life. Each people have different experiences in their life and that is why there are conflicts.

>>No, the opinions are decided based on people's experiences in their life. Each people have different experiences in their lives and that is why there are conflicts.

If many opinions gather toward a topic, people assert that their opinion is right. This example doesn’t only validate in a debate but our social life.

>>If many opinions gather toward a topic, people assert that their opinion is right. This example doesn’t only apply in a debate but also in our social life.

Conflicts happen even when we choose the menu on restaurant or discuss where to travel.

>>Conflicts can happen even in choosing the menu in a restaurant or discussing where to travel.

Also, we can prove this opinion by thinking of a family. Family is a small but social community too.

>>Also, we can prove this taking the family as an example. Family is a small but social community too.

Family is the closest social community but there are always conflicts because it is a social community. For instance, let’s suppose that you want to go to the amusement park with your parents.

>>CORRECT!

But they have plenty of works to do so they can’t promise you about visiting an amusement park. You got upset and cry. Your parents saw it and they also felt sorry for you.

>>But they have plenty of work to do so they can’t promise you to visit amusement park. You get upset and cry. Your parents see it and they also felt sorry for you.

In this situation, both parents and you got upset. Parents are upset about the reality that they can’t visit the amusement park with you and you got upset that you can’t visit the amusement park. This is an emotional conflict.

>>In this situation, both parents and you get upset. Parents are upset about the reality that they can’t visit the amusement park with you and you got upset that you can’t visit the amusement park. This is an emotional conflict.

Emotional conflicts usually happen in relationships such as relationships with your friends. Thus, everyone who had experienced social life must have experienced conflicts likewise. People speak in their stance.

>>Emotional conflicts usually happen in relationships such as with your friends. Thus, everyone who has experienced social life must have experienced conflicts likewise. People speak in their stance.

Each people have a different social position. And this affects conflicts because when people speak in the stance of their position, they might misunderstand what they were meaning to.

>>Each person has a different social position. And this affects conflicts because when people speak in their position, they might misunderstand what they mean.

We call this situation misunderstanding. If misunderstanding occurs frequently, conflicts will occur often too.

>>CORRECT!

And if we speak in the stance of our social position, many people won’t understand what we truly mean. In order to understand other people, we need to experience their situation.

>>CORRECT!

But in the case of social position, we can’t experience one’s social position. And we are talking in a stance of our social position, we won’t understand each other. We are being placed in a situation of different kinds of conflicts like examples above.

>>But in this case, we can’t experience firsthand one’s social position. And if we are talking in the stance of our own social position, we won’t understand each other. We are being placed in a situation of different kinds of conflicts like the examples mentioned above.

But we can still decrease the number of times we get into the situation of conflicts.

>>But we can still lessen the number of times we get into  conflicts.

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