¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Exercise is secret of my health.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-02 404

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I keep my health by exercising. Though medicine is important to my health, but we can't keep our health by only medicine. I'll cite two reasons why exercising keeps my health.
First, exercising keep my healthy weight. Weight is one of the sign of how the person is healthy. Of course too light weight is unhealthy, but fatness is very serious healthy problem of the person's health. Fatness can be connected to adult disease. Exercising can prevent this problem.
Second, exercising can keep my blood health. Exercising controls my blood sugar and blood pressure. Diseases about blood are serious problems. Exercising prevent these serious diseases.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I keep my health by exercising. 
>> I keep myself healthy by exercising. 

Though medicine is important to my health, but we can't keep our health by only medicine. 
>>Though medicine is important for our health, we can't keep ourselves healthy only by medicine. 

I'll cite two reasons why exercising keeps my health.
>> I'll cite two reasons why exercising keeps me healthy.

First, exercising keep my healthy weight.
>> First, exercising helps me maintain my weight.

 Weight is one of the sign of how the person is healthy. 
>>  Weight is one of the signs of how healthy a person is. 

Of course too light weight is unhealthy, but fatness is very serious healthy problem of the person's health.
>> Of course being underweight is unhealthy, but being overweight is a very serious health problem.

Fatness can be connected to adult disease.
>> Being overweight can cause diseases.

 Exercising can prevent this problem.
>>  Exercising can prevent these problems.

Second, exercising can keep my blood health.
>> Second, exercising can keep my blood healthy.

Exercising controls my blood sugar and blood pressure. 
>> This is a good sentence. 

Diseases about blood are serious problems.
>> Blood diseases are serious problems.

 Exercising prevent these serious diseases.
>> Exercising prevents these serious diseases.


Very good job, Daniel! It's good that you know how important exercising is. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110661 Feedback À¯*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 3
110660 The reason why I think culture is important ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 443
110659 What is the advantage of a four-day work week? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 502
110658 Do you think you can be a good athlete is you are younger? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 391
110657 Introduction script in interview ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 341
110656 What can you find in a rural area? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 328
110655 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 0
110654 Page 9 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 529
110653 small talk Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 405
110652 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 488
110651 Day 5 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 395
110650 Special food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 1
110649 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 0
110648 Is always coming late a bad habit? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 0
110647 warriors ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 379
110646 What country do you want to visit after COVID 19? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 522
110645 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 352
110644 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 443
110643 Good evening, my teacher! ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 505
110642 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 479

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04