¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What health problems can some gadgets cause?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-09-03 233

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst problem is not to sleep at night because of gadgets especially cell phone. Due to the electromagnetic waves people cannot sleep well at night and hard to get up early. I think it interferes our daily lives and people would live harder than when they do not use their cell phones before they sleep. It has impact on body because they cannot sleep well and take a rest. I think gadgets affect health of people as much as they guess.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Ria!

Thank you for answering your homework.  This is a good way to help you improve your English skills.  I hope to see again soon.  ^^


-T. Maine


I think the worst problem is not to sleep at night because of gadgets especially cell phone.

>>I think the worst problem is not sleeping at night because of gadgets especially the use of cellphones.

Due to the electromagnetic waves people cannot sleep well at night and hard to get up early.

>>Due to the electromagnetic waves, people cannot sleep well at night and hardly get up early in the morning.

I think it interferes our daily lives and people would live harder than when they do not use their cell phones before they sleep.

>>Correct.

It has impact on body because they cannot sleep well and take a rest.

>>It has an impact on the body because people cannot sleep soundly and take a rest comfortably.

I think gadgets affect health of people as much as they guess.

>>I think gadgets affect the health of people as much as they do.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111802 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 259
111801 What were your favorite foods growing up? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 195
111800 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111799 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 3
111798 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111797 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 223
111796 Most Conglomerates Have No More Hiring Plans for This Year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111795 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 260
111794 Homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111793 On my weekends ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111792 29th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111791 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 271
111790 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111789 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111788 Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 207
111787 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 217
111786 Should a person work after graduation? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 352
111785 About Eldorado book À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111784 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 4
111783 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04