¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your childhood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-07 265

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
I was able to grow my social ability more faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.
I learned how to thank to other people and how to apolosize to other people.
That's why I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^
 
There are certain people in our lives that has made a great impact in our lives. Most of them come from our childhood. We wouldn't be who we are today without their help. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
>>I think my brother has the biggest impact on my childhood besides my parents.

I was able to grow my social ability more faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.
>> I was able to grow my social skills faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.

I learned how to thank to other people and how to apolosize to other people.
>> I learned how to thank other people and how to apologize as well. 

That's why I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
>> That's why I think my brother had the biggest impact on my childhood besides my parents.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110562 Thank you Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 5
110561 do you think the lgbtq should be accepted in our society? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 2
110560 I agree with the saying that time is money. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 0
110559 day 2 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 225
110558 day 1 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 197
110557 Who has inspired you the most? How did he or she inspire you? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 214
110556 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 0
110555 Is it better to go to popular tourist destinations or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 179
110554 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 239
110553 I want to go to the archery field! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 167
110552 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110551 How do you think can the culture in Korea be preserved for many... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110550 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 295
110549 Tokyo Olimpics Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 253
110548 How do you manage your anger? What do you do? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 223
110547 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110546 Killing of oneself ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 5
110545 What\'s your take on the Tokyo Olympics? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 2
110544 How do you manage your anger? What do you do? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110543 4 page ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 267

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04