¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is bein

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-23 237

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies. People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
The verdict varies on societies. Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence. In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. 'Twas a great talk with you today! Keep being conversant! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
>>> I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is to give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happening around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. 
>>> CORRECT
Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
>>> Democratic societies have been controlled by the national law that is  believed to be the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
 People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
>>> CORRECT
The verdict varies on societies.
>>> CORRECT
 Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence.
>>>  Korea is well known with lenient laws even if criminals committed serious offences.
 In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.
>>>  In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from heavy sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111648 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 239
111647 Homework {09/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 317
111646 Which one do you prefer, working alone or working with other... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 227
111645 34 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 248
111644 My government ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111643 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111642 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 232
111641 Would you consider living in a retirement home when you\'re... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111640 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 258
111639 n many situations, people who break the law should be warned... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 258
111638 How do you say clearly what\'s on your mind? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 4
111637 Monday\'s diary. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 0
111636 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 279
111635 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 6
111634 Knowing What to Buy ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 216
111633 What is my favorite season ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 251
111632 Do you know of any interesting or unique restaurants in your... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 202
111631 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 212
111630 26th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111629 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04