¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How different do you think is the generation now from the generation before?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-09-28 299

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think technologies are developmented. And people are more interested in devices like iphone or samsung. Moreover as covid19, people do make something like Dalgona coffee and omlet etc.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! :)

The difference between the older generation and new generation really is the technology. Because the older generation does not have that much technology. Despite that, people learn easily to adapt to the certain changes that are happening. 

I think your answer is great. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think technologies are developmented. 
>> I think technology has developed. 

And people are more interested in devices like iphone or samsung. 
>> And, more people are interested in different devices like iPhone or Samsung phones. 

Moreover as covid19, people do make something like Dalgona coffee and omlet etc.
>> Moreover, as Covid-19 started, people do a lot of things like Dalgona coffee, omeletes and etc. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 200
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 223
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 195
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 213
112385 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 660
112384 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 178
112383 Writing correction -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 204
112382 Crimes ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 185
112381 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7
112380 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7
112379 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 235
112378 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 209
112377 walk ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112376 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 834
112375 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112374 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112372 Why is there time is diffrence? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112371 09.30 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112370 Saving Money ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 271

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04