¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Crimes

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-30 390

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What is the worst crime in your opinion? Is it prevalent in your country?

In my opinion, Vicious crimes to the weak is worst. I mean the crimes Against eldery, women, and even innocent children and animals. For example, there was a crime that teenaged grandsons murder their old grandmother stabbing with a knife many times. Even though she had raised the grandsons without their parents, they killed her because she had scolded them. Not same cases, but these kinds of crimes against the weak are increasing and getting crueler. So nowadays I don't feel like reading news articles anymore.. ;(

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for answering the Composition question! :) Here's my comment for your answer :) 

Question: What is the worst crime in your opinion? Is it prevalent in your country?

Your answer: In my opinion, Vicious crimes to the weak is worst. I mean the crimes Against eldery, women, and even innocent children and animals. For example, there was a crime that teenaged grandsons murder their old grandmother stabbing with a knife many times. Even though she had raised the grandsons without their parents, they killed her because she had scolded them. Not same cases, but these kinds of crimes against the weak are increasing and getting crueler. So nowadays I don't feel like reading news articles anymore.. ;(

>> In my opinion, vicious crimes against the weak is the worst. For example, crimes against elderly, women, and even innocent children and animals. For example, there was a crime where teenage grandsons murdered their old grandmother by  stabbing her with a knife for a couple of times. Even though she was the one who raised her grandsons because the parents were not there, they still killed her simply because she scolded them. Crimes like these are increasing and getting more violent, so that's why I don't feel like reading news articles anymore. 

-------------

Thank you for sharing this with me! I agree with you that it is disheartening to hear about news like these. :( We should find a way how to stop these vicious crimes so that we can have a more hopeful society. :) 


See you later in class! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110872 Use \"scenery\" and \"visit\" in correct sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 518
110871 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 548
110870 page 34 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 350
110869 What is your dream house? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 485
110868 page 31 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 626
110867 There are so many pretty uniforms that I want to draw! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 447
110866 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 0
110865 Sun Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 493
110864 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 396
110863 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 410
110862 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 620
110861 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 359
110860 Would you rather take a trip to a new country or get a new TV? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 479
110859 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 439
110858 12th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 1
110857 Summer ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 358
110856 It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 317
110855 homework Á¤*¿î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 1
110854 What do you hope to learn or discover in your time abroad? -... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 439
110853 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04