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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the

작성자: 황*하
2021-10-02 213

회원님의 영작문

I haven't thought of having one government for our world because it doesn't seem like common. People have been living in their country and try to have more comfortable life by doing various activities such as political movement. Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make better country and they always think their citizens' benefits first. Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money for other nationalities. For example, there are a lot of people who need support but there are still poor people in advanced countries. Most people want government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries. Other issues we have to consider is dictatorship. World history prove the advantages of democracy. If country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. Russia is one of the representative country which was running by dictator and finally Its system has broken down. I believe that leader is the most import

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Mr. Hwang! ^^ Thanks for the essay today! Enjoy the rest of your holiday! Have a good time being a nanny. kkk See you!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I haven't thought of having one government for our world because it doesn't seem like common. 
>>> CORRECT
People have been living in their country and try to have more comfortable life by doing various activities such as political movement. 
>>> CORRECT
Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make better country and they always think their citizens' benefits first. 
>>> Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make a better country and they always think of their citizens' benefits first. 
Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money for other nationalities. 
>>> Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money on other nationalities. 
For example, there are a lot of people who need support but there are still poor people in advanced countries. 
>>> CORRECT
Most people want government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries.
>>> Most people want their government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries.
 The other issue we have to consider is dictatorship. 
>>> CORRECT
The world history proves the advantages of democracy.
>>> CORRECT
 If country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. 
>>>  If a country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. 
Russia is one of the representative country which was running by dictator and finally Its system has broken down. 
>>> Russia is one of the representative countries which was ran by a dictator and finally its system has broken down. 
I believe that leader is the most import
>>> I believe that the leader is the most important. 
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