¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Among those countries you\'ve visited, which is your favorite and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¼±
2021-10-03 231

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've visited many countries such as the Philippines, Canada, England, Italy, China, Japan and Singapore for missionary work. I have a good memory of them all. It's hard to compare because each country has different features. However, I'd like to share my experiences in the Philippines. 9years ago, I visited there with my church members for missionary work. We stayed 4days. When I arrived there, It was raining a lot, So we couldn't go outside. We just waited for the rain to stop. While we were waiting, we had worship all day inside the building. We kept reading the Bible and praising God. Despite the weather wasn't good, we could find God's other plan for us that we don't have. After 2days finally, the weather was sunny. So we could meet Philippine children and worship together. I remember their faces that were smiling at us. I didn't remember the exact place name where I stayed in the Philippines but I remember that my heart could keep warm for our time in the Philippines. Thank you!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I am grateful for your sharing, Jane! I can really say that you follow God wherever He leads you. You deserve all the blessings you have! Please take care!
-Faith-
I've visited many countries such as the Philippines, Canada, England, Italy, China, Japan and Singapore for missionary work. 
>> CORRECT
I have a good memory of them all. 
>> CORRECT
OR They were all memorable.
It's hard to compare because each country has different features. 
>> CORRECT
OR It's hard to compare because each country has its own unique beauty. 
However, I'd like to share my experiences in the Philippines. 
>> CORRECT
9years ago, I visited there with my church members for missionary work. 
>> Nine years ago, I visited there with my church members for missionary work. 
We stayed 4days. 
>> We stayed there for four days. 
When I arrived there, It was raining a lot, So we couldn't go outside. 
>> When I arrived there, it was raining a lot, so we couldn't go outside. 
We just waited for the rain to stop. 
>> CORRECT
While we were waiting, we had worship all day inside the building. 
>> While we were waiting, we had worshipped all day inside the building. 
We kept reading the Bible and praising God. 
>> CORRECT
Despite the weather wasn't good, we could find God's other plan for us that we don't have. 
>> Despite the bad weather, we could find God's other plans for us that we didn't have. 
After 2days finally, the weather was sunny. So we could meet Philippine children and worship together. 
>> After two days, finally, the weather was sunny so we could meet some Filipino children and worshipped with them together. 
I remember their faces that were smiling at us.
>> CORRECT
 I didn't remember the exact place name where I stayed in the Philippines but I remember that my heart could keep warm for our time in the Philippines.
 >> I didn't remember the exact place name where I stayed in the Philippines but I remember that I had a warm heart during our stay there.
 Thank you!
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112399 How can stress be good or helpful to us? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 307
112398 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 216
112397 Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 199
112396 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 239
112395 My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 203
112394 How close are you to your extended family? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 531
112393 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112392 HOMEWORK: Do you have a favorite actor? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112391 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 491
112390 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 469
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 200
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 223
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 189
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 213
112385 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 660
112384 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 178
112383 Writing correction -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 204
112382 Crimes ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 182
112381 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7
112380 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04