¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

why I don\'t have long hair

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-10-11 224

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will don't have a long hair.
That is because when I have a long hair, I'm very hot in summer
My second reason is when we have short hair, we can easily to washy my hair.
My third reason is when we have short hair, we can easy to wear the hat.
Finally, I can easy to cut my hair.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Joey!  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job! Please take note of the corrections.

- Teacher Debbie


I will don't have a long hair.
>> I don't want to have long hair.

That is because when I have a long hair, I'm very hot in summer
>> That is because when I have long hair, I feel very hot in summer.

My second reason is when we have short hair, we can easily to washy my hair.
>> When we have short hair, we can easily wash our hair.

My third reason is when we have short hair, we can easy to wear the hat.
>> Moreover, we can easily wear hats.

Finally, I can easy to cut my hair.
>> Furthermore, it's easy to cut short hair.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112939 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-16 2
112938 What do you like to know about your friend when you keep up with... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-16 251
112937 What do you think we could do better or differently? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-16 380
112936 If you were given a 2-week vacation with some pocket money,... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 200
112935 What question do you want to ask someone in an interview? Answer... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 206
112934 BTS-Coldplay collaboration ranks No.12 on this week\'s Billboard... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112933 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 2
112932 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 2
112931 What to do after retirement. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 182
112930 How do you feel about ordering or making a reservation at a... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 182
112929 France ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 197
112928 Protecting animal=protecting environment ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 173
112927 10.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112926 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 245
112925 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 252
112924 Santiago Pilgrimage ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 193
112923 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 219
112922 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 208
112921 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112920 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04