¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-14 587

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had a lot of fears when I was younger than now.
And it was just about small things like a fear about monster or somethings like that.
But now, I don't have those kinds of fears.
Just I have a little fear about some insects or bees.
Now I am thinking that I was so strange because I just had a fear about monsters.
So I thought that those of fears are just useless things in my life.
But I recognized that we can grow with those fears.
If I don't had any fears, than I think I was not able to be me.
So I had those kinds of fears when I was young, and I think fears are very neccessary things in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John :)

Fear and anxiety can last for a short time and then pass, but they can also last much longer and you can get stuck with them. In some cases they can take over your life, affecting your ability to eat, sleep, concentrate, travel, enjoy life, or even leave the house or go to work or school. This can hold you back from doing things you want or need to do, and it also affects your health.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I had a lot of fears when I was younger than now.
>> I had a lot of fears when I was younger. 

And it was just about small things like a fear about monster or somethings like that.
>> Most of them are small things like fear of monsters. Something like that. 

But now, I don't have those kinds of fears.
>> CORRECT

Just I have a little fear about some insects or bees.
>> Just I have a little fear for insects. 

Now I am thinking that I was so strange because I just had a fear about monsters.
>> Now that I am thinking about it, I feel silly because I had a fear for monsters. 

So I thought that those of fears are just useless things in my life.
>> So I thought, those fears are useless. 

But I recognized that we can grow with those fears.
>> I recognize now that we can grow with our fears. 

If I don't had any fears, than I think I was not able to be me.
>> If I didn't have any fears before, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. 

So I had those kinds of fears when I was young, and I think fears are very neccessary things in my life.
>> So the fears that I had in my life before are necessary for the life that I have right now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112543 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112542 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 332
112541 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112540 are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 487
112539 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 312
112538 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 449
112537 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112536 Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 376
112535 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 377
112534 Tell me about your favorite sports game. ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 340
112533 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 360
112532 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112531 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 456
112530 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112529 Autumn is missing. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112528 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 668
112527 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 304
112526 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 401
112525 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 6
112524 WORD FILE _ CORRECTION RQ from IB ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04