¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Protecting animal=protecting environment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-15 158

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Protecting animals means protecting environment. If we protect environment, animals can live better. I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
First, we must not throw away trash to the environment. It can protect environment from pollution.
Second, we should not drive car too much. Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
Third, we should grow lots of trees. Trees can take in harmful air.
Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals). But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your work is comprehensible and well-structured.  Please don't forget to put the article THE before the word ENVIRONMENT though. 

- Teacher Debbie


 Protecting animals means protecting environment.
>> Protecting animals means protecting the environment.

If we protect environment, animals can live better.
>> If we protect the environment, animals can live better.

I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
>> I'll cite three ways how to protect the environment.

First, we must not throw away trash to the environment.
>> First, we must not throw away trash anywhere.

 It can protect environment from pollution.
>> It can protect the environment from pollution.

Second, we should not drive car too much. 
>> Second, we should not drive cars too much. 

Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
>> Driving cars too much can cause air pollution.

Third, we should grow lots of trees.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Trees can take in harmful air.
>> This is a good sentence.

Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals).
>> Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect the environment and the animals.

 But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.
>> However, these three ways are the most important to protect the environment, so we should follow them at least.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112890 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112889 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112888 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 182
112887 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 129
112886 What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 216
112885 What is the request you usually asked from someone? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112884 What food do you dislike?. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112883 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 187
112882 South Korea Seeks to live with pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112881 My hometown ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 206
112880 Do you agree with Captain America\'s choices in Civil War? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 219
112879 How can you avoid vices? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112878 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 239
112877 There will be second earth in space ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 184
112876 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 598
112875 10.14 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112874 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 175
112873 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 177
112872 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 315
112871 1014 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04