¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

young people

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2021-10-19 434

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Young people is losing the satisfation of their own's work and the value of labor.
I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life.
However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ms. Lily! Thank you for spending time doing your homework. You expressed yourself well. Keep it up and always bring with you that passion.
Aki~
Young people is losing the satisfation of their own's work and the value of labor.
>>> Young people are losing the satisfaction of their own's work and the value of labor.
I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life.
>>> I regard these values as very important factors of happiness in our life.
>>> I consider these values as essential factors of happiness in life.
However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
>>>  However, the current trend, especially in Korea, it is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.
>>> It is unfortunate that young people are only concerned to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items, and foreign cars as means of self-expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114126 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 397
114125 Falling stars ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 443
114124 What¡¯s the best way to pass job interviews? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 513
114123 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114122 Obeying Your parents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 340
114121 What do you think is the best city in South Korea? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114120 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114119 Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 423
114118 How do you relieve stress? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 470
114117 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114116 1124 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 864
114115 What are your good and bad habits? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114114 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 558
114113 My salary ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114112 How would you feel if someone is being dishonest to you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114111 Absolutely Seoul :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 355
114110 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 364
114109 \"Death is not a period, but a comma, in the story of life\".... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 396
114108 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 392

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04