¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10252021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-25 480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity¡¯s aura is often so intense that people are too taken

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Eunbee!  Thank you for writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.


- Debbie


Oct. 25, 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?


When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. 
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.

Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. 
>> This is a good sentence.

That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.

However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. 
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public. 

Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113251 1025 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 199
113250 I prefer desert ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 565
113249 Which is shorter your hair or your mom\'s hair? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 197
113248 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113247 Happy Birthday To my brother! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 397
113246 Can you name three things that you like about your job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113245 In what ways are credit cards better than cash? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 236
113244 Do you like travelling? Why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 951
113243 Homework from the lesson 10252021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 480
113242 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 226
113241 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 196
113240 What were the two last things that made you happy? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113239 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 228
113238 Is it good that professional sports are so commercial nowadays? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113237 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113236 Sports. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113235 Friendship Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 257
113234 What culture in South Korea are you most proud of? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 176
113233 What was the most memorable food you tasted abroad? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 3
113232 What is your favorite website? What do you do on your favorite... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04