¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10272021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-27 187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one. So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. I have the reason based on my own experiences.
I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them. At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others. As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations. Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! I¡¯m proud of the way you answered your homework with proper expressions.  However, you have to focus more on subject-verb agreement. Please take note of the corrections.

- Debbie

At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one.
>> At first glance, a worker who spends more time working than others seems more loyal and better. 

 So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. 
>> Therefore, one might believe that working overtime means a promotion or a raise is waiting for him. 

However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 
>> However, I do not agree with the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 

I have the reason based on my own experiences.
>> I have a reason based on my own experiences.

I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them.
>> I worked in a kitchen, and I was in charge of training new cooks.

 At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others.
>> At first, I thought people who spent more time working were more diligent and hardworking than others.

As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. 
>> As I handled various types of trainees, I came to understand that time spent on one's job had little to do with one's capability.

Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.
>> Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.

 Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
>> Moreover, if I were a business owner, and if someone were regularly working overtime, my first concern would be whether I was paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113309 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113308 My son very sick, we go to hospital, sorry fiona see you 2weeks... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 207
113307 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113306 Is American English better than any other English? Why? Answer... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 196
113305 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 416
113304 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113303 What is the importance of being part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113302 Tell me about your last vacation. ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113301 HOMEWORK: What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113300 My angry case ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 231
113299 What country in Asia would be a great place to live? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113298 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113297 English is confidence ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 245
113296 Korean Winter season ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 286
113295 Are you in favor of opening international flights for tourists... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 4
113294 Experiment is always exinting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 268
113293 Homework from the lesson 10262021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 205
113292 Does playing with dolls like Barbie negatively influence a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 268
113291 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 660
113290 Do you think health care should be free? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 250

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04