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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10272021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-27 495

회원님의 영작문



At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one. So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. I have the reason based on my own experiences.
I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them. At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others. As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one’s job had little to do with one’s capability. Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations. Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! I’m proud of the way you answered your homework with proper expressions.  However, you have to focus more on subject-verb agreement. Please take note of the corrections.

- Debbie

At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one.
>> At first glance, a worker who spends more time working than others seems more loyal and better. 

 So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. 
>> Therefore, one might believe that working overtime means a promotion or a raise is waiting for him. 

However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 
>> However, I do not agree with the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 

I have the reason based on my own experiences.
>> I have a reason based on my own experiences.

I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them.
>> I worked in a kitchen, and I was in charge of training new cooks.

 At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others.
>> At first, I thought people who spent more time working were more diligent and hardworking than others.

As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one’s job had little to do with one’s capability. 
>> As I handled various types of trainees, I came to understand that time spent on one's job had little to do with one's capability.

Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.
>> Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.

 Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
>> Moreover, if I were a business owner, and if someone were regularly working overtime, my first concern would be whether I was paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
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