¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-29 215

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Fast food is known for unhealthy food. It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human;s immune system. It is also known for food which contain too much calorie that might be resulted on obesity. There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenience food. I would like to state about convenience food mainly for single people. We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. Modern society have changed everything. People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under the busy schedule everyday. There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. It leads people to have their meals quickly. The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. Most fast food are delicious and convenience but it cause a lot of social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Thanks for always responding to your essays! Even if you're getting busier these days, you still manage your time! Great weekend ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Fast food is known for unhealthy food. 
>>> CORRECT
It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human's immune system.
>>> CORRECT
 It is also known for food which contain too much calories that might be resulted to obesity. 
>>> CORRECT
There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenient food. 
>>> CORRECT
I would like to state about convenient food mainly for single people. 
>>> CORRECT
We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. 
>>> CORRECT
Modern society has changed everything.
>>> CORRECT
 People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under their busy schedule everyday. 
>>> CORRECT
There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. 
>>> CORRECT
It leads people to have their meals quickly.
>>> CORRECT
 The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
>>> CORRECT
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. 
>>> Packing materials is the main problem which causes environmental destruction. 
Most fast food are delicious and convenient but it causes a lot of social problems.
>>> CORRECT

PLEASE CHECK CONVENIENCE VS. CONVENIENT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113674 11.08 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113673 Superstitions in korea ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 193
113672 Tech ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 526
113671 If i can spend a day with a famous person... ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 249
113670 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 164
113669 What will you do when you retire? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113668 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 514
113667 I want to learn English until retire my company. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 151
113666 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 169
113665 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113664 Why do you think that maintaining to speak good English is a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113663 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 450
113662 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 256
113661 What do you do to stay healthy? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113660 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113659 My siblings ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113658 Is your personality suited to your job? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113657 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 212
113656 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 193
113655 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 172

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04