¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-29 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Fast food is known for unhealthy food. It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human;s immune system. It is also known for food which contain too much calorie that might be resulted on obesity. There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenience food. I would like to state about convenience food mainly for single people. We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. Modern society have changed everything. People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under the busy schedule everyday. There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. It leads people to have their meals quickly. The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. Most fast food are delicious and convenience but it cause a lot of social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Thanks for always responding to your essays! Even if you're getting busier these days, you still manage your time! Great weekend ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Fast food is known for unhealthy food. 
>>> CORRECT
It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human's immune system.
>>> CORRECT
 It is also known for food which contain too much calories that might be resulted to obesity. 
>>> CORRECT
There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenient food. 
>>> CORRECT
I would like to state about convenient food mainly for single people. 
>>> CORRECT
We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. 
>>> CORRECT
Modern society has changed everything.
>>> CORRECT
 People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under their busy schedule everyday. 
>>> CORRECT
There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. 
>>> CORRECT
It leads people to have their meals quickly.
>>> CORRECT
 The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
>>> CORRECT
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. 
>>> Packing materials is the main problem which causes environmental destruction. 
Most fast food are delicious and convenient but it causes a lot of social problems.
>>> CORRECT

PLEASE CHECK CONVENIENCE VS. CONVENIENT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113654 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113653 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113652 Punctuality ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 349
113651 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113650 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113649 What is the best public transport to you? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 397
113648 What I do in spring and summer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 174
113647 job ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 164
113646 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113645 Tell me about your favorite food. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 283
113644 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 177
113643 Korea\'s big problem ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 162
113642 What do you like most about teaching? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113641 10.29 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113640 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it, ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 182
113639 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 149
113638 Help me teacher Mayleen Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 6
113637 What would you do if you had more free time? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 134
113636 What do people in your country usually do on Pepero Day? Should... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113635 Tell me the most interesting place in your country. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04