¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s big problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-08 418

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Our countries are experiencing different problems that affects the citizens living in it. I hope the ones that you have stated would be resolved. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
>> In my own personal opinion, i think the biggest problem our country is facing is that the rich people keep on getting rich and the poor remain poor. 

Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
>> It is because our economic structure is not working well. 

House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
>> House and land prices become higher everyday. 

Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
>> Rich people can easily get it because they have a lot of money and usually know about it first. For normal people, we don't have money to afford it and we rarely get informed about it. 

The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.
>>The circulation of money is not working well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115504 How necessary is it to ask for permission? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 668
115503 Have a nice day! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 510
115502 What can you do to avoid getting sick? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 900
115501 What\'s your favorite holiday food? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115500 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 3
115499 How often do you go shopping? What are the items you normally... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115498 write a short diary entry about a panda keeper\'s life. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 562
115497 Are you a spontaneous person? What kind of things do you do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2
115496 Are you afraid of needles and other surgical tools? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115495 If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice, what... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115494 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2
115493 Do you think it\'s dangerous to have the wrong information... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 3
115492 Describe your favorite cafe in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1099
115491 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 383
115490 Do you give money to homeless people? Do you think people should... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 632
115489 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 931
115488 If I can live other city ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1033
115487 How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1855
115486 What are the advantages of technology? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 774
115485 Dog and park ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1011

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04