¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korean creature named Hatae.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-13 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most popular Korean creature is named Hatae. It's a creature that protect Seoul and keep judgement. So it is very good creature to Korean. And it appearance is lion+turtle. lastly, there are lots of Hatae in North-east Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.
(Movie diary) I watched movie called AK-47, that is about very famous rifle called AK-47. So, I will explain about it.
This rifle is from Russia. It was second AR around the world. Maker of this gun thought about strong, and fast rate of fire. It is called AR. The first AR is stg44, it was an very big evolution. Whole world needed this AR. So in Russia, the AR called AK-47 was adapted. It was very durable and good rate of fire. And it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorist used it. Because of these reasons, about 44890000 people were died because of this guns. So this is very historic guns.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. Good job! However, focus on subject-verb agreement please.

- Teacher Debbie

The most popular Korean creature is named Hatae. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It's a creature that protect Seoul and keep judgement.
>> It's the creature that protects Seoul and gives judgement.

So it is very good creature to Korean.
>> Therefore, it is very good to Koreans.

 And it appearance is lion+turtle. 
>> It looks like a lion and a turtle.

lastly, there are lots of Hatae in North-east Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.
>> Lastly, there are lots of hataes in Northeast Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.


Movie Diary

I watched movie called AK-47, that is about very famous rifle called AK-47. 
>> I watched a movie called AK-47. It is about a very famous rifle called AK-47.

So, I will explain about it.
>> I will write about it.

This rifle is from Russia.
>> This is a good sentence.

 It was second AR around the world. 
>> It was the second AR around the world.

Maker of this gun thought about strong, and fast rate of fire. 
>> The maker of this gun thought about powerful and fast-fire-rate guns.

It is called AR. 
>> They called them AR.

The first AR is stg44, it was an very big evolution. 
>> The first AR was StG44. It was a very big evolution.

Whole world needed this AR. 
>> The whole world needed this AR.

So in Russia, the AR called AK-47 was adapted.
>> Therefore, in Russia, the AR was called AK-47.

 It was very durable and good rate of fire. 
>> It was very durable and has a good fire rate.

And it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorist used it. 
>> Moreover, it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorists used it.

Because of these reasons, about 44890000 people were died because of this guns.
>> Because of these reasons, about 448,900,00 people died.

So this is very historic guns
>>  Therefore, this is a very dangerous gun.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113844 If selected for this position, can you describe your strategy... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 435
113843 How do you want to improve yourself in the next year? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 350
113842 My family when I was single. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1
113841 What\'s the most difficult decision you\'ve made in the last two... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 427
113840 Tell me about a time where you had to deal with conflict on the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1536
113839 Korean creature named Hatae. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 295
113838 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 309
113837 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 330
113836 What factors influence a career choice? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 317
113835 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 0
113834 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being the oldest... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 3
113833 Sermon 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 856
113832 Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 384
113831 Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 473
113830 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 303
113829 How to check À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 469
113828 Netflix À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 220
113827 the best way to quit smoking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 1
113826 Why do people feel like it\'s mandatory to attend year-end... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 2
113825 Sports for women ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 473

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04