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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Tell me about a time where you had to deal with conflict on the job.

작성자: 문*현
2021-11-14 1489

회원님의 영작문

When I was working for the Customer Service team, one of my colleagues hung up the call without explanation when receiving criticism from the client. It was concerning because clients brought this issue up to social meadia, and it led to decrease in overall customer rating by 70%. Therefore, I decided to confront the team member. Since I was working from home, I decided to have conversation through skype because I felt in-person communication is better to avoid misunderstanding. I found out that the co-worker had a health issue, so it was difficult to soothe his emotion. To solve this issue, I agreed to be transferred complicated calls until he was in top shape. Eventually, he could recover his health condition, and our team could phase out customer complaints about this matter. I believe it is more critical to equip with a collaborative mindset and supplement others' shortcoming to assist customers in outpacing the fast-paced business market.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Aciel!

When I was working for the Customer Service team, one of my colleagues hung up the call without explanation when receiving criticism from the client. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: When I was working for the Customer Service team, one of my colleagues hung up the call without explanations after receiving criticisms from the client. 
>>> OR: OR: When I was working for the Customer Service team, one of my colleagues hung up the call without explanations when dealing with complaining clients.
It was concerning because clients brought this issue up to social meadia, and it led to decrease in overall customer rating by 70%. 
>>> It was concerning because clients brought this issue up to social meadia, and it has led to a decrease in the overall customer rating by 70%.   
Therefore, I decided to confront the team member. 
>>> correct  
Since I was working from home, I decided to have conversation through skype because I felt in-person communication is better to avoid misunderstanding. 
>>> correct   
>>> OR: Since I was working from home, I decided to have a conversation through skype because I felt an in-person communication is better to avoid misunderstandings. 
I found out that the co-worker had a health issue, so it was difficult to soothe his emotion. 
>>>  correct   
To solve this issue, I agreed to be transferred complicated calls until he was in top shape. 
>>> To solve this issue, I agreed to have complicated calls be transferred until he was in top shape.   
Eventually, he could recover his health condition, and our team could phase out customer complaints about this matter. 
>>>  correct  
I believe it is more critical to equip with a collaborative mindset and supplement others' shortcoming to assist customers in outpacing the fast-paced business market.
>>>  correct  

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
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