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영작교정 게시판

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Some people think parents are responsible for transporting their children to school. Others think it

작성자: 황*하
2021-11-23 385

회원님의 영작문

I used to go to school alone by walk everyday. I didn't ask my parents to take me to the school, even I was junior in elementary school. It was normal for children to go to school alone or with their friends because most households didn't have their car and it was not dangerous. Actually, parents couldn't afford to take care of their children well like modern society because our country was really poor, most parents worked together. However, environment around children has changed a lot compare to 1980s. There have been a lot crime in this world, especially kidnap, school bully and children violence by teacher. Parents don't want their children to become potential victims so parents transport them to school even if it takes time in early morning. In fact, most people need to go to work early morning that is almost impossible for them to care their children. If government provide pick up service, I am willing to use it. I don't know how much budget our government need but I guess it is

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang! ^^ Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you. ^^ Keep learning! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I used to go to school alone by walk everyday. 
>>> I used to go to school alone on foot every day. 
I didn't ask my parents to take me to school, even if I was a junior in elementary school.
>>> CORRECT
 It was normal for children to go to school alone or with their friends because most households didn't have their car and it was not dangerous. 
>>> CORRECT
Actually, parents couldn't afford to take care of their children well like the modern society because our country was really poor, most parents worked together.
>>> CORRECT
 However, environment around children has changed a lot compare to 1980s.
>>>  However, the environment around children has changed a lot compared to the year 1980s.
 There have been a lot crime in this world, especially kidnap, school bully and children violence by teacher. 
>>>  There have been a lot of crime in this world, especially abduction, school bullying and children's violence to the teacher. 
Parents don't want their children to become potential victims so parents transport them to school even if it takes early morning. 
>>> CORRECT
In fact, most people need to go to work early morning that is almost impossible for them to care their children. 
>>> CORRECT
If government provide pick up service, I am willing to use it.
>>> If the government provides a pick-up service, I am willing to avail it.
 I don't know how much budget our government needs but I guess it is...
>>> CORRECT
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