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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would you ever lie for a company?

작성자: 문*현
2021-11-29 319

회원님의 영작문

Transparency is essential to maintain a trust-based relationship with the client, so I would not try lying for a company, even for the short-term profit. Throughout my experiences, I learned that lying would have a detrimental impact on client relationship management and brand reputation. Lying will also include exaggerating the features and unfeasible promise. During my first job, I was captivated by monthly KPI. To achieve the target, it was essential to retain subscribers. Among others, I found out that many clients complained about no previous pre-renewal notifications due to system error. I volunteered to send a message until the error was fixed, but the cases outnumbered what I had initially anticipated, so few clients were overlooked. This event has resulted in further complaints, which lead me to stop the assistance. It is crucial to take clients’ issues passionately and empathetically, but it is more critical to be open-minded.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Aciel!

Transparency is essential to maintain a trust-based relationship with the client, so I would not try lying for a company, even for the short-term profit. 
>>> OR: Transparency is essential to maintain a trust-based relationship with the client, so I would not try lying for a company, even for a short-term profit.    
Throughout my experiences, I learned that lying would have a detrimental impact on client relationship management and brand reputation. 
>>> correct   
Lying will also include exaggerating the features and unfeasible promise. 
>>> correct   
During my first job, I was captivated by monthly KPI. 
>>>  During my first job, I was captivated by the monthly KPI.  
To achieve the target, it was essential to retain subscribers. 
>>> correct     
Among others, I found out that many clients complained about no previous pre-renewal notifications due to system error. 
>>> correct    
I volunteered to send a message until the error was fixed, but the cases outnumbered what I had initially anticipated, so few clients were overlooked. 
>>> correct    
This event has resulted in further complaints, which lead me to stop the assistance. 
>>> correct   
It is crucial to take clients’ issues passionately and empathetically, but it is more critical to be open-minded.
>>> correct   

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