¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-30 1322

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John :) 

That's true. Our personality defines who we are so we have to accept it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
>> CORRECT

Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
>> CORRECT

But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
>> CORRECT

I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
>> I made a lot of friends because of my personalities so I don't need to change them. 

What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
>>  CORRECT

Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.
>> I also think that loving our personalities is very important in our lives. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117625 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 883
117624 Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 754
117623 Writing Task(Mar 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 743
117622 Answer to \"What food do you not like to eat?\" ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 0
117621 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1193
117620 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 811
117619 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 472
117618 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1313
117617 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 585
117616 1. How is society treating men in sports that are considered... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 5
117615 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1533
117614 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 932
117613 What is the role of the government in providing more job... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 5
117612 What is your goal in 5 years? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 4
117611 3/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1491
117610 Why do you enjoy learning English? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1526
117609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117608 Studying abraod ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1387
117607 homework~~!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1148
117606 Korea Presidential Election day. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 882

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04