¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s low birth rate.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-12-03 612

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously. As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support. old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child. in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Andrew!

Happy Monday! See you later ^^

T. DON

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously.
>> CORRECT

As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support.
>> As I said, Korean women has a high level education in the world so they can be financially stable now and they can live alone without support.

Old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child.
>> In the old times, women could not get a job with a good salary and so they have to depend on their husband. They get married when they were young so they can get a child with ease and have a lot of children.

in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
>> In my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and a sister and I had only one son. My elder brother also had one son too. The population is decreasing.

These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
>> These days, young people don't want to get married and it is a very serious situation. In the future, Korea will be replaced by foreign people.

T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.
>> T. Don, if you have a chance to go to another country, please consider and come to Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112698 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 358
112697 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 485
112696 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112695 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 495
112694 What kinds of supplements do you not highly recommend? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 508
112693 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 440
112692 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 408
112691 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112690 In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!! ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 364
112689 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112688 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 485
112687 When was a time your followed a trend? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112686 Cats ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 490
112685 why I will become to taller ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 437
112684 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 449
112683 Do you find politics boring? What makes it boring? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 346
112682 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 2
112681 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112680 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 3
112679 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 918

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04