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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why is our company interesting to you?

작성자: 문*현
2021-12-05 421

회원님의 영작문

As a finance graduate, I always came across your company on stock price indexes such as NASDAQ 100. Throughout the research, I found your company provides more than indices service but financial software to support market participants in their operational and technological concerns. The corporate solutions division at your company assists clients with their investor relations and intelligence. IR Insight, for example, is an integrated workflow solution in the investor relations market to monitor and analyze competitors’ performance for strategic decision-making. On top of that, from previous experiences and studies, I always wished to continue my career in the data analytics division in a financial service company, where I provide advice to customers on their market practices using datasets. By working closely with the financial institutions and analyzing the trends in the format of commentary, analysis, and summary, I believe this job is the chance to bring my career a step further.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks once again for this Aciel!

As a finance graduate, I always came across your company on stock price indexes such as NASDAQ 100. 
>>> correct  
Throughout the research, I found your company provides more than indices service but financial software to support market participants in their operational and technological concerns. 
>>>  correct 
>>> OR: Throughout the research, I found that your company provides more than indices service but also financial software to support market participants in their operational and technological concerns.    
The corporate solutions division at your company assists clients with their investor relations and intelligence. 
>>>  correct  
IR Insight, for example, is an integrated workflow solution in the investor relations market to monitor and analyze competitors’ performance for strategic decision-making. 
>>> correct   
On top of that, from previous experiences and studies, I always wished to continue my career in the data analytics division in a financial service company, where I provide advice to customers on their market practices using datasets. 
>>> correct   
By working closely with the financial institutions and analyzing the trends in the format of commentary, analysis, and summary, I believe this job is the chance to bring my career a step further.
>>> correct 
>>> OR: By working closely with the financial institutions and analyzing the trends in the format of commentary, analysis, and summary, I believe this job would provide me the chance to bring my career a step further.   
>>> OR: By working closely with the financial institutions and analyzing the trends in the format of commentary, analysis, and summary, I believe this job would bring my career a step further.   

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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04

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