¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Lose The Moon

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-12-06 417

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?
We can't see anything at night.
So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
And there won't be tides.
When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair.
See you on Wednesday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?


We can't see anything at night.
>> or: It would be almost pitch black at night. 

So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
>> So we will have to use candles or smartphone lights at night.

And there won't be tides.
>> or: And there won't be any tides, such as high or low tides on Earth.

When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (
>> When Earth loses the Moon, it would be terrible! : ( ; (
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115225 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3
115224 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 303
115223 home work(¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 673
115222 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 591
115221 HOMEWORK : What are the first things you want to accomplish this... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115220 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 259
115219 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 264
115218 Late rising. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115217 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 288
115216 What do you prioritize when you buy something (brand, price,... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 348
115215 Electricity price increase to deepen inflation concerns À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115214 new year ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 363
115213 How can traveling be educational? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 732
115212 My homework~~^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 329
115211 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 304
115210 What makes an advertisement memorable? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115209 Do you think overpopulation is an important environmental issue? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115208 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115207 What are the beautiful places that you have visited in Korea? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 291
115206 What kind of cause or charity organizations are you particularly... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 373

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04