¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Lose The Moon

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-12-06 427

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?
We can't see anything at night.
So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
And there won't be tides.
When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair.
See you on Wednesday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?


We can't see anything at night.
>> or: It would be almost pitch black at night. 

So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
>> So we will have to use candles or smartphone lights at night.

And there won't be tides.
>> or: And there won't be any tides, such as high or low tides on Earth.

When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (
>> When Earth loses the Moon, it would be terrible! : ( ; (
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115243 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115242 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115241 If you can invent something, what would it be? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 850
115240 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 549
115239 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1195
115238 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 921
115237 How do you feel about taking revenge? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 610
115236 About museum! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1207
115235 Staying at home can save lots of lives. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1133
115234 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3221
115233 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 244
115232 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115231 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 811
115230 Homework (1/4) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 5
115229 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115228 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115227 I want more job. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 387
115226 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115225 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3
115224 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 314

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04