¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young Ann, and old Ann

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-08 280

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
But now I don't know it is good or bad.
When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

You can notice that you have matured in those changes. Good job! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
>> I judge myself a lot about so many things. 

Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
>> Long time ago, when I was student, I was very weak. 

When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
>> When someone say sensitive things to me, I get hurt and cry easily. 

But now I don't know it is good or bad.
>> But I don't know whether it's good or bad. 

When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
>> When I hear that someone is saying bad things to me, I just fight them right away. 

Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
>> I don't cry or get angry anymore and I try to refute it with logic. 

I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.
>> I think those are the difference between the old Ann and the Ann now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114545 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 4
114544 Lou ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 257
114543 Why it is important to have a permission ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 235
114542 Where is it best for you to stay over? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 233
114541 Rider shortage driving up cost of your order À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114540 What is the best memory you have of you and your family doing... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 359
114539 What do you think of traveling amid the pandemic? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 298
114538 What do you usually do on weekends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114537 Young Ann, and old Ann ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 280
114536 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 626
114535 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 930
114534 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 203
114533 lend money ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 763
114532 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 316
114531 Saving electricity is very important. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 380
114530 Is physical activity an important part of a healthy life style? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114529 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 565
114528 The purpose of studying history ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 323
114527 Master librarians À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114526 Available ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04