¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Spring:The Season of Life and hope

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2021-12-10 211

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is hard for me to say It's spring that is the most beautiful season (since I prefer winter), but It is. Before spring, a lot of lifes have hard time with cold weather. When spring comes, for those who passed through painful time comes out to the world and prepare to start their dance of life. This feels like a story of hope to me. For this reason, spring is the most beautiful season.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


It is hard for me to say It's spring that is the most beautiful season (since I prefer winter), but It is. 

>> It is hard for me to say that spring is the most beautiful season, since I prefer winter, but it is. 

Before spring, a lot of lifes have hard time with cold weather. 

>> Before spring, a lot of lives go through a hard time with cold weather. 

When spring comes, for those who passed through painful time comes out to the world and prepare to start their dance of life. 

>> When spring comes, for those who went through painful times, comes out into the world and prepare to start their new dance of life. 

This feels like a story of hope to me. 

>> CORRECT!

For this reason, spring is the most beautiful season.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 209
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 375
114311 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 186
114310 I think it is Busan. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114309 My day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114308 What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 196
114307 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 146
114306 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114305 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114304 My promise ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114303 Which one should I read first? ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 293
114302 Animals can be friends with people. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1086
114301 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 846
114300 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1338
114299 What do you do after learning that you did something wrong? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 216
114298 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 665
114297 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 267
114296 Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 176
114295 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 580
114294 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04