¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 253

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

The education system in our country has been changed when I went to school.
The purpose of education gets into college in the past.
Nowadays, educations are improved active class.
South Korea's education policies still go along with the college admission system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica:) 

The students in South Korea are very competitive there's no doubt. Although, children have to undergo a lot of things to come this far. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

The education system in our country has been changed when I went to school.
>> The education system in our country has been changed since I went to school.

The purpose of education gets into college in the past.
>> The purpose of education is to get kinds into college in the past.

Nowadays, educations are improved active class.
>> Nowadays, education is improve to make classes actively. 

South Korea's education policies still go along with the college admission system.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 358
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 462
114001 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 441
114000 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 881
113999 1119 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 628
113998 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1042
113997 Are you the type of person who easily apologizes or do you let... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113996 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 291
113995 What are the benefits of exercising? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113994 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113993 Are you happy with the government assistance of old people in... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 313
113992 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113991 What are some of the benefits and disadvantages of electric cars? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1135
113990 HOMEWORK: What are your interests? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113989 HoMeWoRk ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 323
113988 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 701
113987 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 443
113986 Quick reply of your company about my Wensday class. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113985 Post on the bulletin board about my Wednesday ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 6
113984 Speak with ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04