¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-12-14 442

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that continues education improve our skill and it provides a chance to update our knowledge. It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment. Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. In conclusion, It;s worth to improve people's skill if company don't pus

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! It's quite a tiring day today! I hope you're having a good one. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to update our knowledge.
>>> I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to upgrade our knowledge.
 It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. 
>>> Although, I am positive of self-development, there are too many adverse effects. 
Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. 
>>> CORRECT
They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
>>> They don't usually pay attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment.
>>> Secondly, people can be suffering from stress to be the best in a too competitive environment.
 Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. 
>>>  Everything has changed quickly in the modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted in a serious health problem. 
Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. 
>>> Some people feel like committing a suicide due to the competition. 
Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, it's worth to improve people's skill if the company doesn't...
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112702 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 727
112701 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 550
112700 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 441
112699 Favorite Magical Adventures Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 603
112698 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 425
112697 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 539
112696 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112695 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 631
112694 What kinds of supplements do you not highly recommend? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 610
112693 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 509
112692 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 495
112691 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112690 In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!! ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 430
112689 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112688 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 568
112687 When was a time your followed a trend? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112686 Cats ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 620
112685 why I will become to taller ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 534
112684 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 519
112683 Do you find politics boring? What makes it boring? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 431

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04