¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If Korea getting together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-22 448

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
Just having rest time.
If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is at class.
I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. Although, I think there would also be disadvantages to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
>> North Korea and South Korea are still at war. 

Just having rest time.
>> They are just on rest. 

If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
>> If the two countries will unite, the first thing that the government should do is to reunite separated families. 

When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is <±¹Á¦½ÃÀå> at class.
>> When I was a student, teacher showed us a movie called "±¹Á¦½ÃÀå" 

I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
>> One scene in the movie involved separating a family. 

It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
>> It was so cruel and sad. 

It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
>> It's ridiculous to say goodbye to your family.

And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.
>> And if our country reunites again, I think we should resolve that problem first.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113855 How do you ask for help? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113854 Which among your things is hard for you to throw away? Why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113853 Artic À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113852 What was the last thing you bought for yourself? where did you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113851 Why I like to going to school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 556
113850 which do you think is better, putting on makeup or getting... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113849 11.11 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1
113848 11.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1
113847 11.09 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 3
113846 laws ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 227
113845 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 330
113844 If selected for this position, can you describe your strategy... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 274
113843 How do you want to improve yourself in the next year? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 228
113842 My family when I was single. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1
113841 What\'s the most difficult decision you\'ve made in the last two... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 328
113840 Tell me about a time where you had to deal with conflict on the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-14 1296
113839 Korean creature named Hatae. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 219
113838 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 251
113837 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 211
113836 What factors influence a career choice? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 191

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04