¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are as one again?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-22 135

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
>> In North Korea, there are many natural resources and in South Korea, technologies have improved. 

Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
>> Also, we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.

So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
>> So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.

So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> So, I think that if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115460 Essay (Jan 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 467
115459 > What do you enjoy doing with friends? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 271
115458 sudsidies ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 197
115457 What are some famous places to visit in your birthplace? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 633
115456 What do you do to make yourself fit and healthy? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 220
115455 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 380
115454 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 3
115453 What is your favorite holiday? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115452 2022.1.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 691
115451 If you have a chance of going out with your friends, where do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115450 What advice do you have for people who want to study English? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115449 01.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115448 Panic attack ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 790
115447 When was the happiest day of your life? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 485
115446 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 816
115445 Life without weekend will be terrible ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 256
115444 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1456
115443 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 352
115442 What sports I play with my friends. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 188
115441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 409

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04