¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are as one again?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-22 137

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
>> In North Korea, there are many natural resources and in South Korea, technologies have improved. 

Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
>> Also, we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.

So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
>> So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.

So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> So, I think that if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115442 What sports I play with my friends. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 189
115441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 410
115440 My best uncle ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 353
115439 My famous park ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 181
115438 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 492
115437 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 249
115436 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115435 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115434 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 2
115433 E-Reading Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 172
115432 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 307
115431 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 272
115430 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 222
115429 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 293
115428 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 372
115427 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 226
115426 What is your favorite Korean traditional game and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115425 Esaay (Jan, 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1108
115424 Lucky ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115423 How can students prevent stress from staying at home due to... Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 649

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04