¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How is the law enforcement in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2021-12-23 226

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement. My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. But they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You did an amazing job!  You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up!

- Debbie

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement.
>> First of all, I will brief you on my country's law enforcement.

My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. 
>> My country has a relatively unified and integrated approach to law enforcement. 

For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. 
>> This is a good sentence.

So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.
>> Therefore, the local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. 
>> In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws, such as some of the organizations under The Ministry of Justice and The Ministry of Economy and Finance.

For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But they are not called police in Korea.
>> However, they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
>> The organizations enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and discourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114278 How can you live a stress-free life? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 230
114277 Would you ever lie for a company? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 139
114276 What important thing would you like to change in your eating... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 209
114275 Wow it is wonderful! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 698
114274 swimming at the beach ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 194
114273 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 341
114272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114271 Have you ever done a \"small\" crime before? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 4
114270 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 478
114269 Why can learning a language be sometimes difficult? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 177
114268 Alcohol ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 205
114267 China and freedom. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 251
114266 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 702
114265 On what occasions do you give flowers in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 212
114264 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114263 If you can give a present to your parents, what would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114262 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 429
114261 Homework {11/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 217
114260 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 179
114259 What can we do with some rocks? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04